Newborns Outtake: Esme's Afterlife
by RushedUponATime
Summary: This is Esme's life story from Newborns, it's the short time she spends alone as a vampire. It covers her pursuit to seek truth, she battles with what she became and tries to help others along the way, eventually leading up to her meeting Carlisle.
1. Haunting Past

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

Haunting Past

Esme's POV.

I grew up on a farm on the outskirts of Columbus; I had a pleasant childhood there, until I was in my twenties, that was when everything changed. My parents forced my marriage in 1917 with their friend's son, Charles Evenson. It was an unhappy marriage because he was very abusive behind closed doors and he threatened me not to tell and pretend to live this picture perfect life.

He seemed friendly when we met but it was all just an act and I fell for it, his fake smiles sweet words, and thoughtful gifts. He revealed his true colors the first night after the wedding, where he roughly threw me on the bed, for the marriage ritual. I tried to resist his advances but it only made things worse, he pushed himself harder onto me, binding my hands above my head so I couldn't fight. He then whispered that I was all his now and that I had to follow whatever he said because being my husband he owned me. I said that wasn't true and he slapped me so hard that I blanked out for a few seconds.

"Don't talk back!" he yelled at me.

I started crying and he told me to stop but I couldn't the tears kept flowing over my eyes. He knocked my head against the headboard trying to make me stop and he continued until I was unconscious.

It wasn't until morning before I regained consciousness, and I couldn't remember anything from that night. Maybe because I was out cold or maybe I just didn't want to and forced myself to forget. All I knew now was Charles was gone, my body was sore and my clothes were in shreds. I gathered some new clothes and a towel then headed to the washroom for a shower.

Looking in the mirror I couldn't recognize myself, my face was bruised; my lip swollen with dried blood in the corner of my mouth, and my hair was in mess, caked with sweat and blood. The shower was the most painful experience I ever had as the water washed over my head; it stung the open wound of where my head contacted the wooden bedposts. I could also feel a bump forming around the tender area and as I soaped my body I found new bruises everywhere covering almost every part of me.

This continued every night and every morning I looked in the mirror at the miserable creature I am. I've felt so dirty after he touched me that even after the shower I couldn't wash away the shame it left. I couldn't believe how low and unworthy being with him made me feel.

Finally, he was recruited to war and I was so relieved he left, I didn't even mind being alone. I began studying to be a school teacher and was able to earn a degree to teach. But once he returned he was furious, he threw the hard covered text books at me before ripping them up and throwing them into the fire place. A woman isn't suppose to be working, she is suppose to stay home and serve her man he informed me before continuing where he left off.

After another month I couldn't stand reliving in the same conditions again, I was able to suppress myself before, lie to myself it's not that bad. But after he left for war and I had my first taste of freedom, I couldn't stay here, I needed to go….

Finally I decided I had enough abuse, this has to end. I didn't care if my parents thought I was a disgrace, I couldn't take it anymore. A couple nights later I realized I was pregnant, that gave me that extra boost of courage to runaway. I couldn't bring a child to this abusive household, couldn't bear to have it suffer like me. Taking the route up north, I already devise a plan to become a teacher and we could both live in small house together. Income wouldn't be very much, but it'll be enough to support us to have a simple and happy life.

That dream didn't last long though because my son died a few of days later after he was born, from a lung infection. When he left, it felt like a part of me died with him. I was under depression couldn't eat or sleep, just kept on blaming myself for his death. That I didn't look after him like a good mother should have, maybe if I stayed with Charles he would have changed from having a child. My condition worsened as all the guilt piled up from the loss. The resolution was death itself, I was already in living Hell; at least death might reunite me with my baby.

I climbed the cliff which hung over the beach over a pile of jagged rocks. I planned my suicide to be an accident so it wouldn't ruin my family's name. I camped up there that night and set of ropes as props for the scene to look as if I fell off from the slippery stones while scaling the rocks.

In the morning as the sun rose, it casted it's light across the sea giving it illusion of melted gold. It was a beautiful sight and the last; I thought I ever see. I took a deep breath of the salty air, closed my eyes, blanked my mind and just walked off.

The fall was a rush, as I fell to my doom, but even as I hit the rocks, I didn't feel pain. It was either from the peace I had now or the cold, numbing my body as water took me under. I was aware of my bones shattering but it felt like nothing. It was as if I was awake, looking upon my body from the outside with my soul already one with nature. The best way I could try to explain this sensation is comparing it with going to the dentist. The dentist shoots you with anaestheti_c _that numbs the portion of your mouth but your mind is still alert and you know they are drilling into your teeth but no pain is associated. It's not till after when you feel the burn and damage they've done a day or two later, which is exactly what happened.

A while later, I awoke I'm no longer in currents of the water going back and forth. Instead I'm on my back on solid ground, with pressure plunging down against my chest. Ice cubes are crashing against my lips, forcing them open and bringing an icy fog that's blown down my throat. I peak through my eyes and get a glimpse of gold. I'm thinking is it still the sun on water...? Or maybe it's my passage to heaven…? I can't think anymore as I fall under what I thought to be eternal slumber.

Blackness was all I felt, infinity amounts of emptiness surrounding me, just nothing. Was I dead and this is all I have to face till time stops or has it already? I couldn't tell but it was peaceful, no thinking or feeling, only blankness. But it was still early for it to be over; death wasn't going to cut me some slack.

A tiny white orb appeared through the vastness of the darkness and continued growing bigger and bigger. But it wasn't actually growing bigger; it was me who was moving closer, a force as strong as gravity pulling me towards it. As I enter the tunnel, memories flash by my eyes. I now understand the saying: of your life passing by before your eyes when you die. My parents are holding me when I was born, me as an infant growing up, on a swing attached to a tree outside the house and my first time riding a bike with my father spotting me. Then my adolescence years, I was laughing with my gang of girlfriends, my failed attempt of sneaking out my window by climbing a tree, leading to me to be treated by a very handsome doctor for my twisted ankle when I was sixteen. Then the most recent events of my abusive husband, my child alive in my arms, to his death on the hospital bed, to my following death. I was reliving it all.

Now the pain is catching up, I feel the burn in my lungs of not being able to breathe, the pressure of the world weighted above me, pulsing pain on every broken bone on my body. My heart is racing in circles in a nonstop cycle that keeps going faster and faster. It's as if my heart became a machine gun, continuous assaults of bullets are ricocheting around my chest and constant reloading adding extra punch to the small cavity. I thought death was supposed to be fast and painless, but this is torture. It feels like my heart will burst any minute maybe then it'll be over. Little did I know that it was far from over, it was only just the beginning.

The frantic pounding of my racing heart, brought on this heat that rapidly turn to a burn. I was burning up inside from the core of my heart through to every organ and part in my body. Fire consumed me like a fever I couldn't sweat off, and continued its flaming path through my veins. So this how it feels like to burn in the mighty depths of Hell, didn't think I sinned that much to end up here, but suicide is pretty high of the list of sins to send me here. Guess I won't see my son at the pearly gates of heaven after all. Dread and depression took over and I didn't even care about the pain anymore. I actually wanted more to drown out the deeper pain of sorrow but as if heaven can hear my thoughts, they didn't grant my wish. The pain dulled and it didn't bother me anymore, somehow it was part of me now.

Just when I start to think I'm stabled, a new change occurs. The fire retreats back to my heart increasing its already overworked pace, both in coalition with each other. The rest of my body is now freezing while my heart is burning up to a point where it'll either turn to charcoal or explode from beating too hard and fast. The flames eat away at my heart until it snaps leaving no sound or movement after. The fire is put out immediately when my heart stopped beating like the power supply was suddenly cut off. I blank out just like a computer would but also like a computer, I restarted.

Frustration courses through me when I realize this. I wanted to darkness to erase the past but the light still finds me bringing forth unwanted memories. I had a painless death but suffered the latter burn. When I wanted the burn to overpower everything else I became immune to it. I wanted death but nature is letting me live, why must play God play this is a cruel joke me? I give up no point fighting the force that'll always get the better end, might as well play along and see what fate has in stored for me now.


	2. Resurrection of the Dead

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

Resurrection of the Dead

Esme's POV.

I open my eyes and I'm greeted by darkness, but this time it's different from blackness. With the dark, I could still see shapes of what seemed like rocks, shells and grains of sand. I feel pressure all around me but it doesn't affect me and I easily shift it. Just by moving my hand and it breaks through the sand as if it was flour. The barrier of dirt is removed as I push through from underneath. Light shines through the cracks where the damp sand is crumbling down. Soon I make enough space that I can haul myself out from the ground.

Once out, I notice that I'm different; my vision is clearer, not that I had issues before but now it is enhanced to see finer detail. My strength is also extraordinary since I was able to dig myself out of a grave six feet under. The fact that I can move after the fatal fall is also amazing. I can hear rushing waves and seagulls cry when I was underground. Is this what happens when you cheat death?

All these new features I possess but I also feel like I'm lacking something. I strain to hear my heartbeat with my improved hearing but I can't. I put my hands to my chest and feel no beat. How is it possible that I'm alive and breathing with no heartbeat? Wait, I'm not even breathing! Maybe I didn't cheat death after all since I'm already dead!

Maybe I'm a ghost, which would explain my lack of heart beat and breathe. But it wouldn't cover my strength since I'll pass through everything, won't I? I look around wherever I was for clues that would explain this phenomenon.

I find a fairly large rock, but I notice there are scribbles on it, I crept over to investigate and sure enough the scribbles actually formed words in fancy calligraphy. Glancing over it quickly the final lines caught my attention:

_Prayers I send_

_To my dear Friend_

Someone was here; I thought maybe they could help me and explain what is going on. With a new purpose I set out to find help but I have no idea where to start looking. First thing first though, I have to get out of here.

Leaving my tombstone and grave, I follow the light out from the other end. But once I contacted the sunlight, I'm blinded by sparks of diamonds. Swiftly I retreat back inside and they disappear. What was that, another strange effect of being the undead? Slowly, I inch my hands forward until the tips of my finger tips are in the direct light of the sun. Again sparkles are flying bouncing off my skin, aren't ghost supposes to be translucent and glowing, not sparkling I think aloud. Things just keep on getting weirder and weirder.

I wait until a cloud covers the sun before reattempting to leave. This time as I exit I have no more glittering skin. I take a look around and see that the sky is mostly composed of thick gray clouds and that brief period of sunlight peaked from a rift between them. I find myself face with the same sea and rocks from the previous night but instead of being above them, I'm below and across them in a secluded cave on a beach.

I risk the protection the cave provided and wander farther out. The cold from the sea doesn't bother me like before maybe because we are now of the same temperature. I leave footprints in the sand which rejects the theory of me being a ghost which would float over. I loom over the water and take a look at my reflection, I gasps in shock at what stares back. _Me._

I'm looking the most beautiful as ever in my entire lifetime, even after what I've been through. I was expecting cuts and bruises on my face not this flawless white skin. My hair covered with sand is still able to look groomed, with a natural shine and smooth texture. Only thing I'm thrown off by is my red eyes and sharpened canine teeth. Am I a vampire? I think incredulously. That's impossible there is no such thing, and wave off that thought. But it won't be shut out and keeps reoccurring in my thoughts, I'm still here which is also impossible but true.

Self-consciously I checked over myself for bite marks and found none; but began doubting my decision to find whoever was in the cave with me.

Vampire…keeps echoing in my head on repeat. I try to push off that fact to the back of my mind but I can't. I try to think logically, there's no such thing, but life is full of unsolved mysteries so I can't cross it off the list based on that reason.

The more I think and try to prove it wrong the more it seems to be right. I make a mental list in my mind that matches what myths are known: Improvement of the senses, including sight, smell, hearing, and strength. Avoidance of sunlight which is partially true but instead of bursting into flames I'll burst into sparkles. Endurance I don't mind the cold anymore, that's maybe because I'm dead. Well actually undead, I'm without a heartbeat and don't need to breathe, yet I'm still able to be here. I have extraordinary beauty for luring in prey to feed…

A chill ran down my spine at the thought of feeding, as I shake myself to get rid of the sensation. But like the theory of being vampire, it won't stay locked up in the box of unwanted thoughts. My throat begins to burn with intense thirst and I find myself craving blood…

I can't help myself as my instincts take over and my body has a mind of its own. Automatically, I begin sniffing to find my prey, my ears on alert for any sounds, my eyes focusing and scanning the surroundings. Finally, I detect a faint whiff of human, hidden in the sea's salty air. My legs are already following the scent, and I can hear frantic screams, splashing of water, but most importantly the acceleration of the heartbeat pumping blood. I lick my lips anticipating how sweet the blood will taste as I sink my teeth in. Mmmm... I smile at the idea of the rush of warm blood flowing down my throat, quenching my thirst.


	3. Sink or Swim?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

Sink or Swim?

Esme's POV.

At the beach, I slowed down from my incredible speed and walked to the water's edge. My eyes zero in on my drowning victim, caught in the strong currents and being pulled under. The head bobbled up for one final breathe before sinking down into the water and not resurfacing.

I dive gracefully into the water, sleekly swimming to the person like shark closing in on its prey. My legs kicking in sync with one another propelling me forward like a mermaid's tail. I wonder if there is even such a thing as mermaids in this world, I would have doubted it before. But after all that happened today, I wouldn't be surprised of the existence other supernatural beings. I don't think I'll even blink an eye if one showed up right now… "Enough!" I say to myself as I force out the irrelevant thoughts and try to focus on my task.

As I reach the person, I realize that it was a boy and that he was losing air fast as a spew of bubbles escaped his mouth and nose. I put my arm around his neck and drag him along as I continue kicking and paddling with my arm back to the beach. I also flipped him so he is facing upward and pulling him above the surface so he could breathe again.

Once the water shallows to a point where I can't swim, I stood and walk the rest of the way to the beach, the boy cradled limply in my arms. I lay the boy's body on the sand and knelt down beside him. This is such an easy target, I think, as I reveal my teeth and position myself over the exhausted and helpless boy. But I made the mistake of looking down at the face.

Once I did that and saw the youth of the boy I couldn't go through feeding on him. I couldn't hurt this innocent child with brown hair slightly wavy from the water, a small round and pale face, eyes squeeze shut, and mouth set slightly opened. His tiny chest was barely rising up and down, but there was still a heartbeat. I couldn't possibly bring myself to kill such a beautiful soul; he was still so young and had so much to live for.

It would have been easier if he was dead or I didn't look, but both statements are false. My vampire self wanted to just forget about it and feed, to satisfy my own need, but my human self held me back. I was once a mother even if it was only for a short while; I know the feeling hurt and loss of losing a child. I couldn't let that happen if I can do something to change it.

Ignoring my thirst I began pumping the little boy's chest until he was choking out the water. I immediately stopped compressing his heart, and distanced myself a couple steps back.

"Mother?" he croaked weakly as he stirred.

One simple word that tugged at my heart giving me a brief moment to believe it, before I regained control of the situation.

"No." I said gently.

The little boy opened his eyes slowly, but squinted as the sun broke through the gray clouds.

"Are you an angel?" the boy's voice rasped.

I shook my head no, puzzle at the boys conclusion, but realized the light gave me an aura of sparkles, a misleading illusion from my true form.

"Am I -?" the boy started to ask before his voice cracked.

"Don't worry, you're not dead." I assured him, answering his unfinished question.

Relief coursed through his fragile body as he relaxed his tensed posture.

In the distance a frantic voice was yelling "Evan!" I looked over at the boy to see if he could hear the voice but he remained clueless. His human ears couldn't hear the voice unlike my intensified sense of hearing.

Taking a risk I asked "Is your name, Evan?"

"Yes." The boy replied. "My mother named me after the bible, its means gracious gift of God" he continued proudly.

"I think you're the angel sent down to Earth." I complimented Evan.

I could see a faint blush rise to his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Come let's return this gift of God back to his mother." I said as I extended my hand to help Evan up.

His small hands felt warm despite his freezing state from the water, sending heat to where our hands met when I pulled him to his feet. A shiver coursed through him upon contact of my icy fingers. Sadness rushed through me, because I couldn't provide him comfort or warmth, the best I could do was let go of his hand and hold his by the shoulder where his thick jacket acted as a barrier.

I followed my hearing to the desperate voice crying the name over and over, leading Evan with me. I steadied him every time he stumbled from the debris of sea, and slippery rocks as he struggled to walk. Finally turning the corner of the cliff, the silhouette of a woman came into view. Her back was facing us, as she swung her head back and forth searching for her son, her dark brown hair fanning in the wind.

"Mother!" Evan cried excitedly as he broke free from my hold and raced towards his mother.

"Evan!" she cried with relief as she turned and crouched down opening her hands to catch him in her embrace.

I smiled at their reunion his arms cradled her neck as his mother buried her face between his neck and shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around his waist holding on as if he would disappear if she let go. Finally she loosened her grip and held him by the shoulders so she could look him straight in the eyes.

"Don't do that ever again!" She scolded him severely.

"I'm sorry mother, I just wanted to look at the fish - I went too far - the water …" stuttered Evan on the brink of tears.

"I'm sorry for yelling, I was just so scared that I lost you." The mother said her tone softening.

"I promise I won't do that again, I love you!" Evan said reaching for his mother again.

"I love you too, my precious darling," she said emotionally and kissed his forehead.

Finally looking over his head to see me, my red eyes met her clear soda blue ones. Her eyes pooled with appreciation as she took Evan into her arms and walked over. I looked down and tried to hide my blood-red eyes behind my hair.

"Thank you, I am forever indebted to you for saving my son and bringing him back to me." She said to me sincerely trying to catch my eye.

"It was nothing." I said avoiding her eyes.

"Please is there anything I can do for you to show my appreciation?" She asked.

"Okay, there's one thing…" I say letting the words trail.

"Anything" She said eagerly.

"Take good care of your son, God doesn't like taking back his gift." I requested and giving a wink to Evan.

"Always and forever" Evan's mother agreed nudging Evan affectionately with her check.

I looked at Evan as he giggled at his mother and then turned to grin at me, but when his mother turned she let out an airy gasped at the sight of my eyes.

"Oh dear, your eyes…" she began saying.

"My eyes are sensitive to the salt water…" I end up saying lamely.

"Here take these." She said as she offered me a pair of sunglasses from the top of her head. "It's not much, but it gives some protection from the wind, the salt in the air might irritate your eyes more."

"Thanks." I say taking the glasses from her and put them on.

She waved it off "It's the least I can do, you risked your life to save my son; going in the water despite the compromising condition it put your eyes in. I hope there's no permanent damage." She adds concernedly.

"No, I'll be fine I have prescribed eye drops for situations like this, no worries." I explain trying to ease her guilt on my eyes since it wasn't even hers or Evan's fault.

Through the dark lenses I could see Evan shaking from being left in his soggy clothes.

"It's getting chilly, I think you should get Evan changed into dry clothes or he might catch a cold." I suggested to the mother.

"Yes, we should get going…" the mother agreed looking around to get her bearings of the area, and turning slightly to the right, where Evan and I just came from.

"Thanks again, your favor today will be forever remembered and held close to our hearts." She expressed as she walked away with Evan securely held in her arms, his head resting on her slender shoulders.

"You're my guardian angel!" Evan exclaimed as they rounded the corner, his grey eyes full of admiration and sparkling with life.

I smiled and nodded placing my hand on my heart, acknowledging his title and taking it to heart. He gave a final wave before disappearing behind the rocks, and I was left alone.


	4. Dark Matters

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

Dark Matters

Esme's POV.

My hand resting on my chest reveled to me my lack of heart, reminding me that I'm no longer alive. I laughed bitterly at my identity, a monster mistaken for an angel, what is God trying to pull here?

That train of thought was soon broken, as I heard splashing and frantic shuffling of feet sinking into the sand. Tilting my head slightly to the left, I sniffed and was hit by the fragrance of blood tinting the air sweetly. I pounced at the chance to feed, allowing the demon I've become take the lead. No longer in control of myself, I let the blood cloud my judgment.

Each intake of breathe was like a dose of drug, increasing my body's momentum. My feet barely touched the ground, as I made my sprint across the coastline, to another isolated area on the far end of the beach. Soon, I found myself inches toward my prey, a woman in a bloody white dress, hunched over from exhaustion trying to catch her breath. Her bare feet were covered in cuts from her reckless running on the rough beach; even her legs were injured with deep gashes, warm blood running down them.

I stretched my mouth forming a sick smile, going in for the kill. But then she looked up, her violet eyes wide with fright. All my previous desires fell apart, as I took a good look at the young girl. She can't be older than fifteen, her features still soft with a child's roundness, petite and fragile frame quivering from silent sobs, but most importantly innocence conveyed through her eyes.

"Pl-please, help," she pleaded at my feet.

Her words only confirmed my suspicions, a mellifluous voice, only a child could possess. It was spoken so softly, even with my ears it was barely audible, but at the moment I was a goner, I couldn't possible hurt this child now. I nodded, as I crouched down to her level, she gave a small smile, which I returned.

"Thank you" she whispered as she collapsed forward into my lap into a comatose state.

I froze as her slim body slumped over, but relax as I regained control, and shifted her around slightly. I stroked her smooth cheek, gently with my hand, and felt the heat radiating off her face, was more than the usual even to my cold hands. She was burning up with a fever I realized, in horror. I placed one icy hand on her forehead hoping to bring her temperature down, while my other hand rubbed her arm to cool her body.

I continued this for I don't know how long, but she finally came around.

"How are you feeling?" I asked my voice laced my concern.

"Hot…" she murmured as her dry lips parted.

"Of course, you've been burning up with a fever, it just subsided." I explained. "Thirsty?" I asked.

She nodded weakly, her head falling forward limply, causing her to exert a large amount of effort to pull it back straight.

"Just wait, one second, I'll get you some water." I said as I lay her down.

I found a fairly large sea shell to hold water and I went to scoop some ocean water. The murky water was contaminated with salt, sand, seaweed, and possibly other unknown agents. I couldn't let her drink this; it needs to be either boiled or filtered. I crossed off boiling the water because it would take too long, so decided to try filtering. I held the shell in both hands and moved it in a circular motion. Just as I hoped, I managed to replicate a centrifuge and brought all the unwanted particles to the bottom leaving fresh water on top. Just to be safe I found another shell and poured the filtered water in it before returning it to the girl.

I helped her sit up against a nearby rock and handed her the shell. She took it gratefully and drained its entire contents in a few gulps.

"Thank you." She said as she sheepishly returned the empty shell.

"No problem." I said as I took back the shell and went to get more water repeating the process. This time, when I handed the bowl of water she drank more slowly with tiny sips and then balanced the rest water in her lap.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked.

She shook her head, "I'm feeling a lot better now, thanks." She said her voice picking up some volume.

"Okay, just take it easy." I advised her "It looks like you've been through a rough time." I added as an afterthought.

"Yeah…" she answered uncertainly her eyes darting back some distance, towards a lighthouse as she shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can help." I suggested.

She remained silent, the shell suddenly holding her interest as she stared at it intensely; running her fingers across its indents. I knew why she was fiddling - to avoid the question - so I continued looking at her for an answer. There was something in her bright eyes; a storm was brewing beneath them.

Finally, she cracked "I didn't mean to – it was an accident – self defensive." She sobbed her broken thoughts.

"It's okay," I said as I ran my fingers through her locks of blond hair trying to soothe her. "I'll do whatever it takes to help, but you have to tell me everything before I can. Deal?"

She nodded her head, her face scrutinized in deep concentrated as she collected her thoughts.

"I don't remember it too well…" she started to say, "There's was a greedy man, he did some horrible things for money, kidnapped my friend and me then held us hostage, and he-he, my parents…" she hiccupped breaking about another round of fresh tears.

I stopped her and rocked her back and forth, rubbing her back to comfort the troubled child, "It'll be okay, it'll be okay…" I repeated the mantra.

"No!" she wailed "He murdered my parents!"

I stiffened at her confession _he murder her parents!_ I thought in disbelief. _What kind of sick fucker would do that?_ My mind reeled at her revelations from shock, to disgust and finally anger. Jealousy the green-eyed monster got nothing on red-eyed beast I've become everything in my line of vision became tainted red. I was shaking from pure rage; this girl is now orphaned because of someone's selfish need to be wealthy.

A soft whimper caught my attention as it escaped the girl's chapped lips. She looked up at me expectantly and then her eyes drifted to my hands holding a little too tightly. Immediately I loosened my grip and took a deep breath in attempts to calm myself. Except it only made matters worse because the salty air was intermix with blood. I concluded that it was best to hold my breath and concentrated on reining in my emotions. Slowly the glaze of red began to fade letting me see clearly again.

"I'm sorry." I apologized to the young girl trying to convey my mistake of hurting her and the unfortunate turn of events her life took.

"Things will get better, I promise, but first details are required before I can do anything, do you trust me?" I asked.

She nodded earnestly, so I continued "I understand this will be difficult, but I need to know the whole story to fully comprehend what's happening and devise a plan that will keep you safe."

Again the girl nodded her agreement.

"Okay, tell me whatever you can remember starting from the beginning of this ordeal." I coaxed her.

Nodding she began recalling snippets of her earliest memories leading to this event.


	5. Through a Girl's Eyes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

P.S. A detour from Esme POV. for the next 4-5 chapters, they will be from the girl's POV.

Through A Girl's Eyes

Girl's POV.

One moment, I'm with my best friend his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we sat side by side each other watching the stars. He had something important to tell me, but after star gazing I'd already fallen asleep in his embrace.

But once I awake something is off, instead of being greeted by sunshine I'm staring at gray walls; my back is stiff and sore from the cement floor. I don't know how this happened I swear I was sitting on the soft sands last night.

"Stephen" I shouted hoping he was nearby, but to my disappointment he wasn't. In his wake was an older man, mid-thirties I'm guessing.

"He's not here, Lillian." He informed me.

I was surprised at his presence for I thought I was alone, but that was soon replaced with panic, because I would rather be alone than with this stranger. My body felt cold and my hands clammy; I had an unsettling feeling about him.

"Where is he? Where am I?" I asked cautiously.

"Like I said he's not here," repeated the man shrugging off the question nonchalantly, "as for you my child, you're here with me." he said sounding pleased.

"How did you know my name?" I asked narrowing my eyes suspiciously.

"Oh, I know everything about you, _Lillian_." he said dragging my name to empathize his point.

"What have you done with Stephen?" I asked ignoring my disgust at his previous comment. "Is he hurt? Is he _dead_?" my voice rising an octave.

He answered no for both counts, and I let out a breath, I didn't even know I was holding. I waited nervously for him to continue.

"He's in a safe place, but for how long depends on you, my dear." the man said with a dark glint in his eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

"His life depends on your actions, if you do what I say like a nice little girl, and I get what I want, he'll be saved." he clarified.

I already knew he was after money, that's the downfall of having wealthy family.

"What do you want from me?" I asked wearily.

"I want your hand in marriage." he stated.

Surprise again crossed my face before horror replaced it; I was overcome with sickening feeling as my stomach dropped. This was not the answer, I was expecting at all.

Amusement flickered across the man's face as he gauged my reaction.

"Why?" I asked in disbelief, I know for a fact I was beautiful, many have complimented me on that, but beauty didn't seem to be what this man wanted.

"You're a smart girl, you can figure it out; expand on your previous presumption." he hinted.

My theory before he dropped the bomb; was he wanted an enormous sum of money, since my family were owners of a bank; it shouldn't be too hard to withdraw money for a ransom.

_But that has nothing to do with marriage. Does it?_ I thought.

The gears in my mind were turning trying to place two and two together. Then everything clicked as a gasped escaped my mouth.

The man nodded his head in approval, "I knew you would figure it out. I want it all." he said confirming my thoughts.

He continued to explain the obvious, once married he would own all my possessions including the inheritance my parents would leave me. All the prosperity, generations of my family worked hard to gain, will be lost in the hands of this _bastard_, I thought bitterly.

"Your friend's going to pay for name calling." he laughed as realization dawned on me that I voiced my last word aloud.

"You have today, to think about it, but there's really nothing to think about your friend is in my hands." he reminded me as he left locking me in the concrete cell.

I didn't know what to do, I forced myself to sleep saying this is all a nightmare and when I awake I will be on the beach again, Stephen by my side. Curled in a ball rocking forward and back I repeated this delusion crying myself to sleep.

Later when I awoke, to my dismay, I was still in the cement prison. So it's true, I'm seriously in this dilemma, I gave in and accepted reality. But that didn't mean I gave up, I needed to find a way to escape and somehow save Stephen. First thing first, I had to break out before I can locate my friend.

I scanned the room; there was the locked door, and a barred window, where air and light seeped in. Other than that, the room was basically 4 gray walls and me. There was no way I could escape through the window it was too high for my reach, since there's no other items in the room to assist me. Also even if I make it up, I couldn't possible break the iron bars, even if I manage to break one I couldn't fit through the narrow opening it provided.

The only option was the door, but it was locked, I would need to steal the key or somehow trick the man to let me out. As I pondered my options, I heard voices. One I recognized as the man that kidnapped me, the other was new. I began eavesdropping on their conversation catching bits and pieces.

"Is it done?" the kidnapper asked.

"Yes, but there were some complications…" the other answered.

"Oh, how so?" said he intrigued.

His partner in crime continued his story, "Well, at first everything went according to plan, I broke into the safe to steal the stamp to approve of your marriage document, but Lillian's parents returned earlier than expected from their party, and walked in on me. Her father tried to stop me and in my haste, I shot him multiple times in the chest, he dropped dead. Her mother was screaming stumbling back to get help, but before she could run away, I tackled her and covered her mouth to stop the sound for it will gain attention. I just wanted to stop her from yelling, I didn't mean for her to die, but my hold was too tight and she suffocated." he said ending his explanation of the situation.

Silent tears were streaming down my face at this point, and I tried to stifle my sobs, biting hard on my hand to stop sounds from escaping.

I was overcome with trepidation as the thought of losing both my parents sunk in, no one going to stop him now. My parents were out of the picture, once I sign the paper, he'll probably kill me too, then all the money will be his for the keeping. All hope was lost; even if he doesn't murder me, my life is shattered there's nothing left to return to. I was on the verge of giving in when I heard the conversation continue.

"…Stephen." the killer said.

_What?_ I thought to myself, what are they planning now?

"Brilliant! Job well done, killing 2 birds with one stone, I didn't know what to do with that boy, but now he can rot in jail for killing Lillian's parents and we'll be clean, they would never suspect us, when all the evidence points to the boy." the criminal complimented.

All thought about giving up flew out the door, not only did they murder my parents they are trying to make my friend take the fall for them. This was my breaking point and something inside me snapped. All my mixed emotions, anger, hatred, sadness, desperation were fueled to one purpose; a burning desire to take action. I was like a scared animal locked in a cage for far too long that finally went wild. There's nothing left to lose, I considered myself dead anyways, so what's the harm in being difficult. I'm already past rock bottom so I can only go up from here. I'm going to do whatever it takes to save Stephen, even if it kills me and even then, I'm not going down without a fight!

The clicking of the door, grabbed my attention, and I immediately, curled myself in the fetal position to look vulnerable. I was far from it though, my restraint was broken, but they didn't need to know that, I'll play my part, and devised a plan from there.

I peaked from position - my head safely tucked under my arm - to see a pair of shoes standing still a short distance in front of me. Suddenly a tray fell closing the space, porridge spilled from the impact and utensils scattered. I felt my body jerk in fright, it was the same reaction when falling in dreams, just before hitting the ground, a twitch waking me from my impending doom. Only difference now is I won't wake up in the comfort of my bed.

I slowly sat up and straighten myself, looking at the unappetizing food in front of me.

"Eat up princess this is the best you're going to get, don't expect your usual high class steak meals." my abductor guffawed.

I eyed to food, weighing my options, which isn't much, eat it or not. Actually I didn't need to make a decision, because my faced was shoved forward into the mess called dinner. I sputtered out the gruel, my chin dripping with the cold slime.

"Sorry, you didn't have a choice; don't want to starve my wife just yet." he laughed cruelly.

Reluctantly, I picked up the bowl and began spooning the bland and watery oats into my mouth. Chocking it back down each time it threatening to come back up along with bile and stomach acid. Each bite I took seem to make no difference in the amount left, but eventually what felt like a hundred spoon full, I forced a little over a quarter of the gray matter into my mouth. I stopped eating and set my dinner back onto the tray, my kidnapper seemed satisfied enough that I've eaten. Wait; hold that thought, because he tipped the remainder of the meal on top of my head.

"Did you know some children aren't even fortunate enough to get food at all? And here you are being picky, guess who's not getting dinner tonight? Yup, Stephen." he said brightly answering his own question.

"Please, don't do this to Stephen; you said he would be safe." I begged.

"Yes… but I also said his fate lies in your hands and you haven't been very cooperative." he reminded me.

"Okay." I breathed out unwilling.

"Okay to what?" he asked fully knowing what I was talking about but just wanting to tease me.

"Marriage" I said between gritted teeth.

"Ah that," my captor said stoking his chin thoughtfully "glad you've come to your senses."

"Yes, I have but under 2 conditions." I bargained.

"I take the praise back, I don't think you're in the position to make deals." he said chuckling at my stupidity.

I was calling him on that though, "Oh really? So you don't need my signature and my vow to the priest? Okay very well then." I said playing dumb.

His laughter faltered for a second before he broke out in a wide grin, "Amuse me. Let's hear your requests."

"I want Stephen to get a decent meal and I would like to talk with him." I voiced my terms trying to sound confident.

"Why do you want to talk with him?" he asked suspiciously, frowning at the fact that I might know his plans and was plotting something.

"I just wanted to tell him…" I started saying as innocently as I can, taking a gulp "_my feelings_." I whispered in embarrassment.

"Very well then." he agreed, relaxing from his previous stiff pose, comforted by my words.

I was shocked at how easy that was; this is too good to be true. I was right, that cliché still holds true to its meaning because my soon to be husband tagged on a "_but…_"

I waited uncomfortably squirming under his gaze and the tension of his words. A smile was forming on his lips as he purposely prolonged saying it and watched me in distress.

"You sign the paper now and I'll prepare a dinner for the both of you. Then you guys can spend the whole night together!" adding his conditions.

I shook my head "I don't really care too much about eating since I already did, all I want is dinner for Stephen and I want to see you acquire the it."

"What, did you think I'd poison the 2 of you?" faking hurt in his voice.

I stayed silent because that was exactly what I was thinking. He seemed to have come to the same conclusion and innocently said "I wouldn't do that, I still need my bride to put on a show for the priest."

My lips remained sealed; I wasn't going to take any chances.

"Hmmm… blonds aren't so dumb after all." He stated musing over my silence. "Guess you learned a thing or two from your rich parents, that's how rich people stay rich, you know. Constant scheming and bargaining." he said in a business manner, the same kind of tone used when revealing a glorious corporate scandal.

Finally he said the words I was waiting for, "Fine, we'll do things your way but we are leaving immediately to town so I can settle things with the priest, he'll probably arrive by early morning and we'll recite our vows." He estimated after doing some mental math to calculate the time required.

"Okay" I said as I began to stretch, but before I could stand I was pushed back onto the ground.

"Not so fast. Where do you think you're going?" he demanded stopping me.

"To make Stephens meal?" I whispered at loss.

"You have to get ready first!" he said in an exasperated tone.

I wanted to protest because that didn't leave much time to visit Stephen but held my tongue, this was the best deal I could make and I didn't want to upset him in fear he might reconsider.

He left to retrieve my wedding dress, the iron door closing heavily behind him, and the snap of the lock.

I buried my face in my hands, "What do I do next?" I whispered in distraught, my mind was still spinning from the recent events.

I could feel a migraine coming on; luckily the click-click of the double deadbolt lock pulled me out of my complicated thoughts. The man returned, dressed in a black suit, the white wedding dress draped on one arm, when both his hands were carrying a tub of water.

He lowered the bucket of the water carefully making sure not to spill any on his expensive groom garment.

"Wash your filthy hair!" he demanded making a face of pure disgust.

My hair was always praised from its perfection, how dare he make that rude remark? Taking offense I mumbled "No thanks to you" before I could stop my attitude.

"Excuse me?" he asked in surprise raising his eyebrows at my slip.

"No-nothing" I stuttered.

"Thought so…" he said generously letting it slide.

I brought my long blond hair to one side and began dipping it in the water, but was stopped.

"Ah! Before you do that, sign this." He said thrusting the marriage certificate and a pen in my hands.

I briefly skimmed through the document my eyes resting on the bottom, where it declared _I hereby pronounce you husband and wife_, was 2 lines with an X. Requiring our signatures, one was already signed John Avaritia, I assume was the kidnapper's name. I smiled at the name, Avaritia, it suits him well._ Greed_. I recognized it from my brief Latin lessons, my father forced me to take, and I use to always throw a fit at learning that useless language. How I hated it back then, always bantering with my father about wasting my time. I remember that last fight we had; I yell Pig Latin and cause his face to go beet red with anger. Now I would give anything to talk with my father again, even continue with pointless lessons, never again will I disrespect him.

I let out a half sob half laugh, causing John to slap me and yell "SIGN THE DAMN PAPER ALREADY!"

I closed my eyes; a lone tear rolled down my cheeks and hit the page as I signed my name Lillian Hale.


	6. Reminiscing Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

Satisfied with the now legal document securing his soon to be money, he whipped it out of my hands and pushed me back to the filthy water. Gathering my hair, I started washing the ends, gradually working my way up to my scalp.

"My patience is running thin, let me help you out." John sneered as he plunged my head under water and held it while my body flailed from the sudden impact and loss of oxygen. I thought he was going to drown me since he finally got what he was after but he roughly grabbed my hair pulling me out as I gasped for air.

"Not yet my dear, we still need the priest's blessing." He whispered in my ear as I coughed up water.

He held me for a moment longer twisting my hair painfully to wing out the water before dropping his grasp of my hair.

"Now change." He demanded as he thrust the wedding dress at me.

"Here?" I questioned humiliated at the fact that he was going to watch.

"Of course, we are officially married, nothing wrong with undressing my wife." He taunted as he pulled the strings of my corset front causing my dress to drop and reveling my under garments.

My arms immediately cross trying to cover myself from his leachy gaze, even if all he wanted was the money, he enjoyed the show. The thin see-through material of my gown didn't provide much of a shield.

"Stop!" I yelled which only caused to angry him and me getting a slap in the face. My cheek stung with the sensation of needles and the rusty taste of blood coated my mouth, causing me to retch loudly.

"Shush… you little whore." John warned as he looked out the window.

"Please?" I begged shifting uncomfortably "I'll be good and co-operative; all you want is the money, then you can have all the women you want at the brothel." whimpering my suggestion.

John considered this idea "Very well, you can change in the corner, but no funny business."

"Thank you!" I said in a rush as I retreated to the shadows of the corner away from perverted eyes.

I shredded the rest of my dress quickly and swiftly shimmed into the wedding dress. Speed was essential in case John changed his mind, I would be totally vulnerable and undressed to do God knows what.

The wedding dress was too large on my body and I struggled to alter it by tightening the strings of the corset back. Eventually after endless tugging the front portion stayed upright though still loose, it was the best I could do without my maids help. The dress itself was quite large and puffy making it difficult to move. But on top of that the length was too long, and was dragging along the floor; I had to gather it in my arms just to walk.

Just before I made my way back to John, something metallic glistening on the floor caught my eye. Bending down to exam this object revealed to me that it was a blade used to open creates.

_A miracle!_ I thought in amazement. I uttered a small prayer "Dear Lord, thank you for your generosity and please continue looking out for my parents, who are in heaven. May they find peace and comfort with you. Protect Stephen from hurt and pain. And help me find strength to carry on. Amen."

After the boost in spirit, I picked up the blade sliding it against the material of my old dress to cut a strip of material. Rolling up my current dress I tied the strip of fabric around my mid thigh, creating a band, which serves as a make shift sheath for my newly acquired weapon.

"Hurry up, before I come get you!"

"Coming" I yelled hurriedly as I straighten the dress and stumbled out of the corner into view.

John's eyes swept over me, he looked at my face briefly before his gaze fell to appraise the rest of my body. Clicking his tongue in approval, he beckoned me forward with his hand. Warily I walked to him as best I could but at the end I clumsily tripped myself on the dress.

"Be careful!" John scolded as I fell forward using my hands to break the fall.

"Don't you dare get this dirty, I paid good money for it and I don't want the priest to get any wrong ideas."

I nodded numbly as he grabbed my waist help me up.

He walked me to the door before putting a blindfold on my eyes obscuring my vision. He spun me in circles a couple of times, managing to disorient me sense of direction. I faltered to the side before arms grabbed hips pushing me forward. I staggered a couple steps straight and my left shoulder came in contact with the door frame. I moved slightly to the right and walked out the door. A couple more steps and my foot brushed against a cold concave metal. The spoon I thought inwardly, registering it in my memory that it was discarded left to the door.

The arms encircling my hips began to wander lower until it rested on my butt and stayed there, rubbing. I shiver of discomfort ran up my spine having been felt up like that but I stayed quiet and endure his abuse. We continued walking down, with John guiding me to turn left twice and right once. Finally we came to a stop, where to pinch my bottom and whispered his command "Act normally."

I nodded and the blindfold was removed. I was blinded by the burst of the late afternoon sun but as my eyes adjusted to the light I could see the beach, ocean and a red Cadillac Roadster, which was quite an item of power in the 1918's. Walking naturally towards the car, I waited as John acted like a gentleman opening the door and helping me in. But he was far from it as he slapped my ass and grunted "Very firm" in my ear. He exited to the driver's side, while his statement sent a round of goose bumps along my neck.

Once settle he began driving to town in silence. I stared out the window as the lighthouse faded into the background and the sand turn to pavement, and little shops came into view. We pasted the toy shop, where my parents showered me with gifts and the ice-cream parlor where I shared a sundae with Stephen yesterday. Tears gathered in my eyes threatening to brim over but I force myself not to cry. But passing the tailor shop, where I would customize my wedding dress and when I joked that I would someday marry Stephen, made me come undone as silent tears fell.

My dreams were crushed; I would never get a chance to wear the lacy white dress I designed that would hug my body in all the right places, never going to have a grand banquet with friends and family, never able to marry a man that I love. My wedding now consists of an unfitting, puffy cream colored dress, a wedding held in a church only to be witness by the priest, and a marriage to a man that only loves me for the money. Using my back hand I wiped my traitor tears.

I was so caught up wallowing in pity I felt myself I didn't notice we stopped at the front of the church.

"Don't attempt to leave; I still have Stephen in hands." John reminded as he exited the car.

I nodded having no intention of escaping; it's pointless anyways, for I don't have a family to return to. Stephen is all I have left and there's no way I would abandon him even if my family was alive. I know he would do the same for me if the positions were switched, and I'm not going to betray our loyalty and trust.

We're been through so much together; he was my friend since the beginning of time. He was the body guard's son and has been part of my life ever since I was born, always looking out for me like an older brother.

At age 6, I lost my front teeth and was teased by a local rich boy for being gapped tooth. It wasn't my parents I ran to for comfort, it was Stephen. He held me in his lap as I cried on his shoulder. When I calmed down, Stephen asked about the whereabouts of the bully, but I refused to tell. But Stephen grabbed my hands and said that I would be safe, and I believed him. Hand and hand we walked to the alley, where Stephen demanded "I think you owe this young lady an apology."

The older boy just laughed and taunted Stephen "No and there's nothing your scrawny ass can do about it."

"Your right, but my fist can sure pack a punch."

With that said Stephen punched the more physically developed boy in the face knocking out his 2 front teeth. The older boy started balling like the spoiled brat he was and barreled past me, promising that his father was going to hear of this.

I was thrown off balance and falling backwards when Stephen sacrificed his body to cushion my fall. He always catches me when I fall, though not always gracefully. I laughed remembering the sight of him sprawled beneath me, concern evident in his voice when he asked "Are you alright?"

I nodded and asked about him.

"I'm great whenever I'm with you." he answered smiling.

I frowned and pointed out his missing tooth which I accidently knocked out when I fell on top of him.

He just laughed and said he didn't even notice and trying to lessen my guilt by saying it was already loose.

"Thank you." I said as I kissed his cheek making him go red.

He gave me a cheesy grin, and I said "You look cute like that."

"You look cuter." he complimented and it was my turn to blush.

"We match!" he said in excitement.

"Yeah," I agree "But we also match the boy you just beat up!"

Stephen scowled and we both got up laughing at the ridiculous situation.

That evening when we got home, Stephen got whipped for hurting the bully despite my pleas of his innocence, he still suffered the punishment but his father was more lenient with each lash. He was suppose to endure 100 strikes from the strap but I explained to my parents the situation and they intervened after the 19th hit.

Stephen was praised by my parents for his bravery to stick up for me and my parents offer to reward him with whatever he wanted, but all he wanted was to protect me. So he was given the job as my personal body guard and whenever we hung out everything was paid for, including the trips to the ice-cream parlor, I thought dreamily.

But too soon the loud slam of the door brought me out of reminiscing memories.


	7. How to Save A Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

How to Save a Life?

"Tomorrow in the late afternoon" John announced slightly annoyed because this delayed his original plans since he was anticipating early morning.

I nodded lifelessly, just one more day before the end.

"Might as well make the most of the trip, I'm going to head to the bar," John thought a loud. But then he eyed me dubiously "and you're going to the barber's."

I nodded my consent though it was unnecessary, John was taking me no matter what, he didn't trust me to be alone wandering town, in case I rounded the authorities. He drove to the saloon and paid the lady an enormous sum to make me look "beautiful."

"Aren't you lucky," my hairdresser commented trying to start a friendly conversation as she ushered inside for my beauty treatment.

I looked at the mirrors as I walked to the old leather seats, my face was sullen, my eyes red and swollen and my hair was a dull greasy mess. My face swiveled in distaste, my hair has seen better days. Usually praised for its silky softness, polished diamond shine, its golden hue like the sun rays, and perfect barrel curls, now hung limply at my shoulders.

"Yeah…" I said attempting to contribute but not in the mood to talk.

"Not much of a talker," The lady continued.

"Uh huh, I'm nervous." hoping to end this talk.

"Cold feet?" she asked.

I didn't answer.

"No, he treats you too well, he such a gentleman, he paid handsomely to keep you comfortable and occupied until he returns tonight after he finishes attending some business." She gushed.

I hid my scoffed with a polite giggle. A gentleman what a joke if she only knew… As far as his business issues, that would be to become drunk.

She took my response as positive and rambled on and on about how lucky I am and her own pathetic life. I tuned her out as she talked and worked on my hair, washing it with soap in a basin on top of a table. The water was warm and her hands worked wonders into my hair, gently massaging it and working out the tangles. I was in utter bliss and I let myself fall into the delusion that I had my old life back. Smiling, I dozed off as her voice morphed into my mother's voice wishing me sweet dreams.

Hours later I awoke, my neck wasn't as stiff as I expected, but that was probably because I was no longer on the chair but lying on a couch with blankets and pillows. I sat up slowly and looked at my hairdresser with raised eye brows questioning her motive to move me.

"I was paid to keep you comfortable." shrugging her shoulders.

"Let me show you your hair." She added enthusiastically as she moved to me with a large mirror in her hands.

I gazed at my reflection and immediately saw my change. My eye's has lost its red and puffiness; the bags under them lessen immensely after my little nap. My hair was a glorious halo of blond once again framing my face in luminous curls.

"You're a miracle worker." I breathed out.

"I know." She said a wide smile plastering her face.

Just then bells atop of the saloon door rang, signaling the arrival of my fiancé. He was slightly intoxicated swaying slightly and leaned against the door for support. I sighed in annoyance; he obviously didn't have enough to drink because his eyes greedily drank in my new state.

"Time to go home." He slurred.

I thank the hairdresser and got up to leave.

"How was your business?" she asked John casually.

"Same old, same old, drinking to entertain the man, but the deal is sealed."

"That's good. Congratulations on your marriage, I made your wife beautiful like you asked." she stated.

"I see that." John said thoughtfully and handed her more money as tip for a job well done.

"Have a good night." she humbled as we departed my arms helping hold John walk to the car.

He began driving back towards the lighthouse, when I reminded him about Stephen's dinner. He grunted his displeasure but stopped at a restaurant and brought a couple pieces of chicken, a loaf of bread and a jug of water.

"Here!" he said as he thrust the bag of food at me.

Stephen dinner smelled delicious, making my stomach grumble in hunger from my measly breakfast. But I refused to eat any of it, Stephen needed all the energy he could get, he would be on the run after tonight.

I willed myself not to be tempted by the barbequed drumsticks and the aroma of freshly baked bread. Luckily, a distraction of John's hand on my knee alerted me of his advances and any thoughts of hunger flew out the door. Unfortunately his hand started trailing up my leg and extremely close to the hidden blade. Adrenalin coursed through me at the consequences of being caught, he would either rape me or pull the blade across my throat, possibly both.

Inch by inch his hand crawled up my thigh, I prayed for another miracle. I gulped down the remains of breakfast which was forcing its way up from my churning stomach.

Suddenly the car came to a halt as John slammed the brakes. Our bodies lurch forward and back from the impact, I would feel that in the morning, if I even make it till then.

John was muttering curses at the "Fucking mutt." and honked his horn to scare it away. From the windshield I saw a black Labrador run across the road barking aggressively at the car after a safe distance.

After this incident John hand left my thigh and he secured both on the steering wheel being extra cautious. God's still listening and He heard my prayers, I thought happily as I thanked him in my thoughts.

I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the dog sitting in the middle of the road, its white tipped tail wagging side to side. I recognized this dog, it was the same one I provoked five years ago by throwing pebbles at while it slept under the tree. After the third stone I chucked at it, the dog finally woke up and chased me a block. I immediately sprinted behind Stephen, who suffered a bite on his fore arm fending off the dog's attack.

His screams and the dog's bark drew the attention of the butcher, who came out with his knife scaring off the dog. I remembered the butch offering to chop up the mutt for us, but Stephen refused arguing that the dog is usually gentle except today it was agitated. I looked down guilty at my shoes confirming Stephen's suspicions. The butcher let it slide and brought out a towel to wrap Stephen's wound.

Back then I was confused and asked why he didn't allow the dog to be butchered, he said that he was against cruelty. He also informed me that dogs were loyal companions and he had a sense that the dog will repay the favour in the future. Now I smile at Stephen's compassion towards that animal and his ability to sense emotions. By sparing the dog's life, it did indeed return the act of kindness, for today it saved my life.


	8. Locked and Loaded

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that's by Stephenie Meyer**

A.N. Sorry this chapter not beta yet, I'll replace it once it is.

Locked and Loaded

It was late at night when we returned to the lighthouse, though the exterior was illuminated by the strong light used to guide ships, the interior was pitch black. John didn't even bother covering my eyes as we stumbled back into his hide out. I felt the cold spoon against my foot as he led me back to the cell where he held me hostage.

"Are we going to visit Stephen?" I asked timidly as I clutched his dinner.

John clicked his tongue in annoyance but complied, turning to the right, and taking us on a different route. At the end of the corridor, was a spiral set of stairs, heading up the tower to the watch room. I was breathless by the time we hiked up to the top, but in a better condition than John, who was wheezing. Fumbling with the set of keys, John finally managed to unlock the door.

"I'll get you in the morning." He stated as he pushed me in and locked the door.

I pressed my ear against the door and listened until his heavy footfalls faded along with his presence. Once, I was sure he retreated, probably back to his room for sleep, I walked deeper into the supply room.

"Stephen"

No answer.

"Stephen?" I called louder.

No response still.

Cautiously, I walked to the center of the room and turned my head slowly, taking in my surroundings. It was too dark to distinguish any dark shapes from the starless night and I blindly moved around, arms held out in front of me. I'm terrified of the darkness, but Stephen was always my savior, oh how I wish he was with me now, holding me and protecting me from dangers lurking in the shadows.

A muffled clang echoed through the moist air and I jumped back in fright. My sudden movement caused me to fall backwards and my arms flailed around wildly trying to protect myself from whatever presence is with me while also trying to find support. Finding a thick braid my fingers wrapped around it, as I brought it down with me. It met some resistance but my momentum was stronger and it collapsed. Bringing forth a cloud of dust as something heavy dropped, and flashes of light.

My heart beating in erected rhythms against my chest and my breathing was labored. Shocked, I just sat there blinking my eyes to clear soot and letting it grow accustomed to the luminosity. Gradually, I collected myself and realized I released the ladder that gave access to the lantern room. The rotating navigation light provided enough power to illuminate the room. Now I could make out the previous shapes - various parts for lighthouse maintenance, a pile of coal fuel, bells for signaling warning, and a potato sack beside it - in the shadows. No Stephen.

My stomach dropped, feeling like a fall down endless pit as realization hit that it was too late. This was all a trick to lock me in the tower, Stephen was already disposed of. Melting into a blubbing heap, I balled my eyes out, mourning the loss of my parents, and now Stephen. All the hope and fire to fight was extinguished like a blown out candle. The blackened wick was all that was left of my life, and even that was going to be thrown into the trash.

I pounded my fist into the concrete in frustration causing pain to shoot up my arms. The stinging felt good and I continued my abuse until my hands were numb. I desired more pain and reached for the blade secured to my thigh. Using that I drew lines across my pale flesh along my legs, staining them ruby red. A smiled crept on my face at my self-mutilation and grew brighter as a brilliant idea hit.

Either way, I was going to die, so why not die in my own hands, I'm not going to let John have the satisfaction of gaining the money and then ending my life. I brought the blade close to my throat, skimming it along my flesh testing the pressure. I love the feel of the cold metal breaking delicate skin, the rush of excitement, and raw emotions embracing death.

Just when I was about the sink the blade in, a soft thump deferred my attention. Startled I looked up, the potato sack by the bells fell over and instead of potatoes rolling out, a tuft of honey blond hair poked out.

Immediately, I dropped the blade and flung myself at the bundle.

"Stephen!" I cried with relief as I pulled the rough material of the bag off him.

He was semi-conscious and mumbling incoherent words. I brushed his hair back to examine him, and John kept his promise, Stephen was unharmed. I lightly slapped his face trying to wake him while repeating his name.

"Lillian?" answered a ragged voice.

"Yes" I replied hugging Stephen tightly.

"What happened?" he asked dazed.

"It's a long story" I reply with a heavy sigh "But we need hurry and leave before morning." I continued urgently.

Stephen nodded and tried to stand but he was too fatigue and shaking from hunger. Remembering he was starved, I stopped him and said "We still have a bit of time, why don't you eat first and I'll explain the situation."

I produced the paper bag containing his dinner and propped him up against the wall. Surprisingly, I felt satisfied just watching him eat, the pleasure his face emitted when he bit the succulent drumstick did not disturb me one bit. Sensing me just watching he offered to share but I declined, lying that I have already eaten. Shrugging he continued eating alternating bites between the chicken and bread with sips of water.

With every bite, Stephen regained energy and was able to carry out a conversation.

"Do you have any idea, what's happening? All I remember was that I wanted to tell you something at the beach but you fell asleep before I got the chance. I was dozing off too, but then I felt a strong grip pressing a rag against my face. I tried to fight it but I already inhaled a powdery substance and lost the struggle. Next thing I know, you're here saving me from a potato sack! I'm supposed to be the body guard here!" Stephen huffed indignantly.

I laughed; he looked so cute pouting in the corner with his arms crossed around his chest.

"I think you got drugged." I assumed as he told his side of last night's events.

"Oh…that would explain my parched throat; and why my memory is a blur and this pounding headache" Stephen figured as he clutched his head.

"You should drink more water." I advised as he gulped the remainder of the water.

"So what's your long story?" Stephen asked after finishing the jug.

"Umm… hey, what were you going to say to me last night?" I asked deflecting the previous question.

"Uh…I…well…I.…wanted to say…umm" Stephen stuttered while scratching his head awkwardly, making the back strands of his hair stick out.

I leaned forward ignoring the pain I inflicted on myself to smooth it out.

"I love you"

My hands froze in his hair after his confession, and I tried looking down at his expression but he looked away, but through the filtered light, I could see his cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

"Since when?"

"Ever since you were born, I had feelings for you." Stephen professed "Do you feel the same way?" he asked timidly.

I opened my mouth to reply but no sound came out, my heart was screaming at me say _I love you too! _Except my mind abolish the idea, right now's not the time for pursuing a relationship and it was impossible anyways for I was already married.

"Never mind" Stephen said dejectedly turning away and taking my silence as rejection.

"Stephen, I'm sorry but we just can't."

"I know, I know, I'm just Stephen Whitlock your body guard, a poor boy and you're Lillian Hale, beautiful, rich and have other more qualified suitors than me. Don't worry, I get it."

"No, that's not what I meant…"

"We're in different classes, it was crazy for me to think you would feel that same about me, you're too good for me, you deserve to have a life where you're well taken care of without ever-lifting a finger, you deserve glamorous materials that only the rich can provide, the titles being married to a prince. I understand, I really do –"

I had enough of Stephen's ranting, and leaned down closing the distance and capturing his lips mine. He was frozen under my moving lips for a split-second before joining me, in a passionate kiss. My hands mussing up his hair, I just flattened and his hand pulling my waist closer. Eventually we broke apart to breathe when our air supply dwindled.

"Don't ever say that! I don't care about the money or fame; it doesn't really matter to me. All I want is you!" I gasped out in frustration.

"Does that mean you –"

"Yes, I loved you. I was love struck ever since my eyes met your electric blue eyes."

"Then why?" he asked clearly confused of why we couldn't be together if our feeling were mutual.

"Things are more complicated than just the connection between us, I'm already married." I say bitterly.

"What? How? When?"

"Remember the long story?"

He nodded his acknowledgement to my question; I took a deep breath preparing myself to launch myself in the dreadful memory. I went through the important points and skipped through most of the detail. I also edited the parts where John abused me because I know Stephen would be hurt and upset he couldn't protect me. I was sobbing once again at the end of the tale position on Stephen lap, with him gently patting my shoulder to comfort me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered "I wish I could have done something, I'm not a very good body guard."

"It's not your fault, you're a great body guard, remember that dog that bite you five years ago?" I said gesturing to his crescent bite marks on his forearm.

"Yeah?"

"Well that dog saved me today from a very unpleasant situation, and that was because you spared its life."

"Thanks," he says while gently squeezing my hand in support.

I winced in pain from my raw flesh; Stephen noticed and began examining my hands.

"What happened?" he asked in worry.

"It's nothing; I was just pounding the door earlier because it's locked." I lied while snatching my hands from his and hiding them behind my back.

"How are we going to leave if it locked?"

"There has to be another way, we are going to make it out of here!" I say fiercely my fire relit and burning stronger than ever.

I peer out the window and see there is a balcony surrounding the tower, except the locked door was the only way to get there. Why must everything work against us? I think in frustration.

"What's that?" Stephen asked pointing towards glint.

"Stephen you're a genius!" I praised in excitement as I followed his finger's direction .


End file.
